Yes! Another Friday. We’ve made it. While all 14 Libs were busy stroking off Gavin Newsom last night, us God-fearin’ Americans were able to once again sneak on by to another weekend. Through another week. To a big third Friday of August.
And guess what!? I’m still not sick. Don’t know how I’ve avoided it so far, but I’m just gonna keep my head down today and GRIND my tail off for one final class of the week.
If we’re lucky, I’ll stay above water long enough to suck down a tumbler of whiskey in about 20 minutes. We’ll see.
Welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where we check in with Olivia Dunne before getting to the best #content from a big week.
What else? I’ve got footage from Gavin’s big rally last night – and by big, I mean it looked like a JV football game. Elsewhere, we’ll congratulate the NFL for finally ending racism, welcome elite WAG Gia Duddy back to class, and Kamala’s step-daughter appears to be handling Trump 2.0 WELL! You’ll see.
Grab you whatever the hell Britney Spears is drinking nowadays, and settle in for a Friday ‘Cap!
The NFL has cured racism!
Looks like Britney is doing great! Never better. Remember those few years when the whole world rallied around her over the conservatorship stuff? We literally had “Free Britney!” rallies in the STREETS. It was a worldwide thing.
And then she won, and it turned out she was even more insane than we ever imagined, and now we all just sort of ignore her? Like Washington DC, sometimes it’s good to have adults in the room occasionally.
Anyway, welcome back to class, Brit! Love the energy you’re putting out on the eve of football season. Let’s keep it going. We’re ONE week away from Week 0. One.
Speaking of football … did y’all hear the big news today? The NFL has done it. After decades and decades of trying, the NFL (!!!) has finally ended racism.
That’s right. No more racism … starting Sept. 4!
What a week of #content!
Oh hell yes! It’s over, boys and girls! Racism is DONEZO. The NFL has declared that any of you racists still out there need to get it all out of your systems now, because in three weeks, you are DONE.
Amazing. Just amazing. God, I love this. Every single year, they do it. Every single year, we laugh at it. And now, they are BACK again, baby!
The social justice warriors of the 21st century: Roger Goodell and Patrick Mahomes. Who would’ve thunk it?
Look, this is just so stupid. And it gets dumber each season. You’d think the NFL at some point would realize that, after six seasons, maybe your ‘End Racism’ signs aren’t … ending racism? I’m all for ending racism. Wherever it still exists today, I 100% want it to end.
I think that’s a message we can all get behind.
But do we need the NFL’s grounds crew to be the ones to tell us every single Sunday for the next 18 Sundays? Come on.
We’re here to gamble our asses off and watch our fantasy teams get shredded. Not to be gaslit. We get plenty of that Monday through Friday. We use the weekends to recharge.
Oh well. Maybe sixth time’s a charm? We’ll see!
OK, let’s get to the best #content from a big week. This FLAMETHROWER from Taiwan bats leadoff:
